Light and Shadow

Well as an artist of sorts I guess I need at least one post about my truest passion, painting. I firmly believe that everyone needs a passion; whether for art, for music, for dance, for food, etc.

For me, painting gives me a sense of purpose. Painting is the best outlet I have for any emotion I am feeling. It calms me when I am anxious or upset. To me art is a release, a way to translate what I am feeling into something tangible. Painting is my way to get away. Painting to me is extremely personal.

What started out as something I thought was just a hobby transformed into something much bigger. I first started drawing in 6th grade and took some after school art classes. Everyone told me I had talent but I have always been very insecure with my painting, because it is something personal that people criticize, when someone criticizes something you have put so much thought into it feels like they are pulling apart everything that you are. I didn't really do much with art for a long time but since moving to California, I have had much more time to pursue it. After much pushing and prodding by family and friends I started selling my paintings online.

eightyeightkeys on Etsy

Just last night I had started a painting on the largest canvas I have painted on yet and after painting the whole thing I decided it wasn't going where I had envisioned it would go. After staring at the canvas for hours on end I turned on Pandora (music is one of my greatest inspirations) a piano piece called "Light and Shadow" by Philip Wesley came on and I got lost in the song, by the time the song was over I realized I had just painted without even thinking about what I was doing. The brush strokes and the colors just came naturally, without a single thought about "Will it look good?" After painting and painting and painting and a few hours I finished around 12:20am. Technically speaking, this may not be the best painting, but to me, I put my heart and soul into it and so for that it is the best painting I've ever done. I could stare at it all day.. and I have.

"I don't think there's any artist of any value who doesn't doubt what they're doing."

-Francis Ford Coppola

 I don't know that I will ever be successful in my passion but it doesn't matter. I love what I do, I always will. I do what I do for myself and for no one else. I am overcoming my insecurities and learning that there will always be someone who doesn't like what I paint; and that's okay.. That is what art is all about, everything is open to interpretation, some people will appreciate it and find a meaning in what I do and others will not.