What Being A Police Wife Taught Me About Life

I’ve been a police wife for just over 2 years now so I am by no means a seasoned veteran but these first two years have changed our lives in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

Growing up I was always taught to respect Law enforcement, not because they wore a badge or out of fear but because they were our protectors, they were there to keep me safe, to keep the horrors of the world from my view.

My husband joined the military shortly before we were engaged. I saw the way people looked at him, with so much pride and respect. He put that uniform on and he was thanked for his service, thanked for the sacrifice he chose to make. I thought joining the police force would be the same and in some ways it is, but lately the minority has found their cruel and loud voice.

Before my husband attended the academy, we had people tell us time and time again,  “Get ready to lose all your friends.” I laughed it off because I KNEW that our friends weren’t like that. They were all law abiding citizens and we had been friends for years. Well, they were right, as time went by, slowly but surely, friends stopped calling, stopped coming around, and for what? Has my husband changed so much that you view him as a completely different person because he puts on a uniform? No matter, though we have lost some longtime friends we have gained a whole family. I don’t know what I would do without other police wives, those I have met and those I haven’t. Although the majority of us have never met, there is a bond between us.

Recent events have made me realize just how different my life is from the rest of the world. Unless you are a part of this life, it’s hard to explain. This life is hard, there is no manual. There is no class on how to comfort someone who has just seen a small child lose a fight for life, to help someone who has seen an addiction cost a young father his life and to watch him suffer the loss of a brother.

What this life has taught me.

We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, police life or not.

Police wives are a special breed, not everyone can embrace this life.

This is not a career choice, this is a life choice. You don’t come home after a shift and leave work behind. This job sticks with you, grocery shopping is not what it used to be and the table selection at a restaurant has been extremely limited (must be facing a door etc.)

You WILL lose friends (and sometimes family) BUT this job comes with its own family. A HUGE family, one that truly understands you and all that you will go through.

There will be people out there who hate the uniform, who hate the job but the majority still believes and respects them. It seems the silent majority have begun to find their voice.

You will see the best and the worst in humanity even as a wife. You will hear the horrible words said about your spouse and you will hear the “thank you-s”. You will see the hate and you will be humbled by the support.

I have learned there will be days of sadness and when we lose one of our own we all feel it, immensely. Whether we knew them personally or not, their loss reflects in each of us. I see that wife, I really see her, and although I can’t imagine her pain, we are connected through the tragedy and I am humbled by that fact.

Mostly what I have learned from this life is this… yes, we chose it, and we have to choose to see the best in it. To take all that we have learned from each other and remember why we are here. Our men chose to help, chose to serve and protect and it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter that there are people out there who hate them for it. I am not denying it is scary to send them out the door with threats looming overhead or never knowing if they will make it home safe or what awaits them during their next shift, but I for one choose to be proud, always, to never feed the hate.  

The things he has seen and the impact it has had on us is not for the faint of heart. If you had asked me 5 years ago, if I thought I could handle this life, I may have said no, but this IS my life and I wouldn’t change it. Every time he puts on that uniform I am proud of the man he is, of the officer he is.

I stand firmly behind that thin blue line.